Maite Ahuir, psychologist Llunàtics
Every year in the Consultation Jove have several cases relationship problems in young peopleSo I think this issue may be interested and well remember some concepts. It is for them and for people of all ages as couple dynamics are similar whether a teenage couple, young, adult or elderly.
There is no partner who is always happy or problematic, but at times can be one or the other. There are couples who are happy in more moments and others who most of the time are not.
Among the partners may be more related personal characteristics or features more difficult to harmonize. Sometimes, however much you try, it is impossible to harmonize.
Is there the half orange ?. Well, like the half melon ... At the beginning of the relations it seems that there is a perfect communion between both members of the couple, everyone is wonderful, we are exultant and freaked out. Although this is mediated by the brutal increase of hormones in the phase of falling in love. As the body returns to normal and our brain is focused, those peculiarities that pleased us or made us grace become defects sometimes difficult to endure.
When the first logical relationship difficulties arise, some people believe that love has died or have the wrong partner, which mounted melodramas and even end the relationship, as if in the next couple were to happen the same ... what can lead us to conflict is that we have no resources to deal with these early problems and conflict can be enlarged or maintained for not having skills to talk and reach agreements.
Companies that sources of problems usually: communication, displays of affection, problems in sexual relationships, the different philosophy of life, economy and expenses, education of children, housework, leisure time, friendships, jealousy, emotional dependency, relationship with family ...
Sometimes, ways of dealing with situations can be misleading. For example:
- With violence or blackmail.
- Ignore the conflict. Frustrations are not communicated believing that this contributes to family harmony.
- Seek shelter in people and activities outside the relationship. That is to say, to look for the exit to the conflicts of couple turning to the work or to look for another relation, that compensates them of their frustrations.
- Believing that the other is the one who has to change and who is responsible for improving things. That is to place out the responsibility of change, with which one dispossesses of his ability to improve things. It is seeing the straw in the foreign eye and not the beam in the own.
Youngs less than 30 years: You know that if you have quibbles or problemones the couple from consultation Jove you can lend a hand.